Dear Elizabeth

2/17/08

Dear Elizabeth:

I enjoyed your letter about objects and collections. It's interesting to hear another person's perspectives on what I do. Your list was pretty good, many of the other collections are sub-categories of the ones you mentioned or collections that haven't been on display.

My collection tendency started pretty early. I use to pick stuff out of the garbage on our block on Kenilworth in grade school. I had a space in the back of the house that was created when the kitchen was remodeled and they closed off the back door and the stairs that went into the kitchen from the basement. I use to collect my objects there which was a cool place because things could be arranged on stairs. The only specific thing I remember was a complete set of the 1910 Encyclopedia Britannica that someone across the street threw out.

I think my first conscious collecting was in 1968 (junior year in high school) when I saved a newspaper article on the Beatles White Album which was the beginning of many newspaper articles, magazines and books on the Beatles that obviously expanded to include anything Beatles and eventually, anything musical.

Uncle Dan made an interesting comment once when he said that he didn't feel he needed to collect things as long as he knew someone else was collecting them. One of the things behind collecting for me has been "having to have" which gets stronger when I see something I'd like to have, don't get it and then later wanting it but not being able to get it. There's a small drinking glass I saw on a trip that had musicians on it in red that I wanted but it was $20. Usually these glasses sell for $4 – 5. So, I didn't get it – and still think about it. I bought a set of Beatle postcards for $125 to not have that happen.

So, all of this seems to make me sound very materialistic and very attached to my objects and collections, if not having my identity wrapped up in them. I, however, don't think this is true. It is true that I derive great pleasure and satisfaction from these things. When the brothers are working in the basement, I'll pull out a book or magazine I haven't looked at for a while and will marvel and the pictures or stories in it. I love seeing the things I have and fantasize of lighted glass cabinets to display my things. There is also great satisfaction in having a complete collection of something (while I was collecting Simpson's comics, I had every single issue of every variations they released except on Treehouse of Horror issue).

However, when I comes down to it, there is only one object that means the most to me and that is my Martin guitar. Everything else could go and will go. I've spent my adult life more and more clearly defining my Self as the life force that flows through me and the consciousness that can perceive myself and the world, so these objects are no more me than you are me.

I also see a parallel between collecting and archiving. I think I archive because my memory is quite selective and when I recall past events I tend to generalize to the point of losing details which results in losing the richness and meaning of the experience. One of the things I marvel at Charley about is his ability to tell a story with such detail that it's like you are reliving it with him. Without this ability, I collect references to the past in dates, photos, videos, recordings, papers, calendars, notes, folders and artifacts, so I can partially recapture what happened.

I'm sure that on a psychological/emotional level that collecting and archiving has served to calm anxiety, fear and insecurity just as my challenges with eating have done. As you talked about, collecting gives me control over something which produces a sense of control even if it's an illusion.

One of the other questions that has come up for me around collecting and archiving has been purpose. What's the purpose? I think I've addressed some of this already but I think it's just a way to be. I feel I could be a different way, make other choices but this way suits me. I think about postcard collecting and how it gives me a curious focus for searching when I'm traveling, delight when I find some that I don't have (although more often these days I think I don't have them when I do. See memory problems above) and a relatively cheap way to bring something home. Also, as many have said, I'm one of the easiest people to buy gifts for.

As far as the pineapple and pirates, I was glad that you spoke up about stopping those progressions. It's just a simplistic way to think of someone which can make gift giving easier. I don't think I ever confused you with the objects but I can understand how it may have been confusing for you.

Thanks for giving me a chance to think and write about these aspects of my life.

Love,
Dad